"The Laughing One" is an alternate name I use online sometimes when my "usual" names or desired names are taken. For instance, someone took "Plate O Shrimp" on Blogger, posted 5 pieces of gibberish, some repeatedly, and then peaced on it sometime in 2003. And "Plate Of Shrimp" just doesn't really work for that reference (the reference in question) so ANOTHER NAME IT IS.
A few years ago, my husband, Karl, and I went to see Episode 2. The theater was packed and we got in a little late. We ended up sitting in the very first row off to one side of the theater next to an entire Indian family. Grandparents, parents, kids of varying ages - the whole family. And for most of the movie I held in my sneers and rolled my eyes away from them. But when the movie gets to the "rolling around in the grass and saying ridiculous things to each other because this is what George Lucas thinks love looks like" part - I just lost it. I spent the next 20 minutes nearly choking myself trying to keep the quavering, soul wracking laughter in. The Indian family noticed. I noticed that they noticed. Shame could not stop the laughing.
When the movie was over, I headed to the overcrowded bathroom and waited in line. And of course, who was in front of me but the matriarch of the Indian family. For awhile she didn't notice. But just before a stall opened up for her she happened to glance back at me and she recognized the asshole who ruined her family movie night. She admonished me with one finger wagging by saying "You're the laughing one." I nodded at her. Yes, that was me. She shook her head, sucked her teeth, and made the most haughty and dignified entrance into a public restroom stall that has ever been witnessed.
And I was The Laughing One. And I still am. And I probably always will be.
I decided to cave in and create a blog because, while I've used online outlets for writing for years in varying degrees and with various levels of attention, I have never really put much care into it. I've also come to realize that, though I have an amazing husband, wonderful critters, and some great friends who I just love to pieces, I often employ a kind of deferred path to fulfillment and the detours are just getting longer and longer. I love creating, nurturing, serving, and empowering the people around me. It really does fill some spot for me. And while I don't think the fulfillment is diminishing, maybe the spot it needs to fill is growing.
Recently I've decided to just get the house into shape to sell. Which means painting and projects and finally tackling all the "some day" items on my mental lists. I know those accomplishments, small though they may be to some, are incredibly satisfying for me.
And maybe this is my way of being accountable to myself and rewarding myself.We'll see. No promises for what this will turn into.
